Attachment Development in Kids & Teens with Amber Schroeder, AMFT
Attachment begins long before adulthood.
It is shaped in early childhood through repeated experiences of care, consistency, and emotional responsiveness. These early patterns form the foundation for how children learn to trust, connect, and regulate emotions throughout life.
In this interview, Associate Marriage and Family Therapist Amber Schroeder explains how attachment develops, how insecurity shows up in behavior, and how caregivers can support secure attachment through everyday interactions.
How does attachment begins forming?
Attachment begins in infancy through repeated caregiver interactions.
When a child expresses a need (through crying, reaching, or seeking comfort) they are learning whether the world feels safe and whether their needs will be met consistently.
Over time, these experiences shape a “working model” of relationships that influences emotional expectations later in life.
How attachment insecurity shows up in behavior?
Children and teens often communicate emotional needs through behavior rather than words.
Insecurity may show up as:
Clinginess or fear of separation
Withdrawal or emotional shutdown
Difficulty trusting others
Emotional reactivity or behavioral outbursts
Strong resistance to closeness or dependence
These behaviors are not simply “acting out” — they are communication signals of unmet emotional needs.
Secure attachment does not require perfect parenting:
Amber emphasizes that secure attachment is not built through perfection.
It is built through:
Consistency over time
Emotional attunement
Responsiveness to a child’s needs
Repair after disconnection
Even small moments of connection matter more than occasional perfect responses.
The importance of co-regulation and repair:
Caregivers play a key role in helping children learn emotional regulation through co-regulation — staying calm and present while supporting the child through emotional moments.
Just as important is repair.
When caregivers acknowledge disconnection and reconnect after conflict, children learn that relationships are safe even after rupture.
Repair builds long-term emotional security.
Understanding early attachment can help make sense of relational patterns later in life.
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